Campaign Game 3 : Edd's Cunning Plan

Pre-Game

Our Campaign is now three games in, and this time Dwarf Treasure Hunters and Orc Mob would face each other over a good old-fashioned skirmish. Set up seemed like it was even going to favour a good bit of arra’ business for the oddly shootie Mob who winning the roll off deployed in buildings along an edge with an abundance of vantage points. Wozzer the crossbow wielding Big’un licked his lips at the thought of pin cushioning the pesky dwarf treasure hunters. Having been briefed thoroughly on da cunning plan by Edd’ -Wozz could see that obviously the Dwarf band would filter into the various kill zones Edd’ had so gleefully drawn out in the dirt before the battle had begun. Having explained his plan to da boyz, Edd’ who was just returning from his injury in the first game returned to thinking about introducing his choppas to Stronginthearm, the clansman who had dealt the injuring blow.

The Dwarf warband finding it had again crossed paths with the same moronically stupid band of Orcs who were ineffectually plaguing them through the streets of the Mordheim set up information. Clearly having seen the massive less than stealthy Orc climb into the tower, they reasoned sticking to the narrow back streets a wise way to deny the Orc any targets.

Orc turn 1

A relatively quiet animosity phase with only the ever foul tempered and equally foul breathed Goblin – Foulbreath Grimnose charging out from the archway of a building hurdling towards the still faraway dwarfs. The rest of the orc movement phase seemed to reveal that the opening positions were either a form of brilliant diversion or an imbecilically flawed deployment. All part of da cunning plan. This plan also definitely hinged on the two Squigs bouncing at a leisurely pace behind their minder Foulbreath.

 

Dwarfs turn 1

Having dumbfounded the Orc would be sniper by denying them a line of sight the Dwarfs continued an organised march forwards towards the scenes of utterly chaos at the other end of the city quarter.

 

Orc turn 2

As the skirmish shaped up to be one of the quieter days in the History of Mordheim – the Orcs and Goblins continued to scurry haplessly into position. Not of course without one from the trio of Goblin Archers taking offence to something muttered by one of their snarling comrades. Thankfully the Git stuck decided to hurling only abuse back towards the original offender as Edd’ marched by glaring at the misbehaving runt. Sticka, knowing the poor mood of Edd’ having suffered two defeats at the hands of these Dwarfs decided to go and do as the boss had instructed and get into an elevated position to cast the great magics of Gork (or woz it Mork) he pondered. Wozzer continued to chuckle to himself in the tower, the dwarfs would be such easy picking from this secret tower he has so cleverly scaled. Below on the street, Edd’ was too busy to kill the annoying Goblin hurling abuse, as he lumbered forward wondering where the dwarfs where – what was taking them so long to fall into in trap, his thoughts only disrupted by the noise of squigs slushing as they bounced up the street.

 

Dwarfs turn 2

What was that squishing noise coming up the streets, and what were those Orcs doing clawing at the ruined brick work of the city? The Dwarfs didn’t allow those two curiosities to distract them from following Morgrim, their Nobles, commands – the formation redressed itself, Alairk Eagleeye, the thunderer, dropping back into the rear as they took up positions in a ruined Tower that looked like it would provide a defensible position to push the Orc Mob back from.

Turn 3

Finally thought Edd’ he could smell the stale beer and pipe smoke now – he bellowed for is mob to get into position and for the squigs to descend. Ever sentient fungoid realised that it was time to cut out all the nonsense and follow Edd’s instructions to the letter.

The Noble coldly called out the positions for his followers – Stronginthearm and Skeggi would take the left alley Rorek the Beardling, the Noble, and the Slayer, Kragg, would meet anything that charged from the right, leaving a small gap for the Thunderer to unleash blots. 

Turn 4

And then it wasn’t quiet anymore. The Squigs bounded sploshing on a dwarf line which looked suspiciously organised. Thankfully the Squig were far from cognitively gifted enough to realise that what Edd’ had said would be an ambush of the unsuspecting didn’t seem to be looking like this. From the tower where Wozzer had stationed himself a howling laughter could be heard around the city as the sharp-eyed Orc spied an earnest Dwarf with a shorter beard that most of the dwarf band which he had become familiar with of late.

Of the two bolts, one had nearly taken Skeggi in the eye only the noise of orc’s cackles had alerted him that the Orc in the tower had caught sight of him. That fleeting moment had allowed him the chance to drop backwards hitting the floor with a thud. As Skeggi dropped he could see the bounding Squig leaping atop Stronginthearm who wrestled the reeking beast doing more than holding it at bay, but somehow off balancing the creature and flipping it to the ground before Skeggi regained his footing and brutally skewered the beast. On the right flank the line of dwarfs under the steward ship of the Noble functioned as if a battle line – the squid losing it footing in fray bounding off the Nobles shield and being shortly dispatched by the Slayer.

While the Dwarfs had set themselves about slaying the onslaught of Squigs – they had missed the clambering of Orcs and Goblins to the rooftops on the opposite side of the street.

Edd’ hearing wails of wounded Squigs pounded forward – the dead pets could usually be revived with a threat of eating them, and he was sure their swift demise wouldn’t be too much of a problem for his most cunning of plans.  

 

Turn 5

Edd’ could ‘ear ‘em. Edd’ could smell ‘em. He couldn’t see ‘em, but he was sure if he ran around the corner screaming “Waaaaghh” and flailing wildly – he’d do just fine – that was da cunning plan after all – have the cowards pin the dwarfs down, so Edd’ could hack them to pieces. As he bound the corner, he had barely time to realise that the dwarf he had just barrelled over was that stupid sword yielding Dwarf who had giving him that thumping headache by hitting him hard on the head with the same blade.

Stronginthearm was on his back – the hulking beast had bowled him from his feet and was looking with malign intent toward him – the beast clearly remembered who it was that had delivered the debilitating blow when last they’d met. Strong braced himself to meet the ancestors, when he noticed Skeggi his spear embedded deep in the Orc’s Side. The Orc still looked devilishly happy as it keeled over. Skeggi pulled the prone Clansman to his feet.

Edd’ could hear the arra’s pinging harmlessly off the walls as the goblins shot hopelessly at the building these stubborn dwarfs had taken up residence in, and then he decided probably best to have a nap before he got to the business of killing his useless mob.

Sticka was in big trouble – lying to Edd’ about the vision from Mork (or woz it Gork) of feasting on the Dwarfs might have been a foolish thing to do. He had only one thing he could do to save his hide – kill all of them himself. He jumped from the building he was in – clattering… badly… he gathered himself motivated by the fear of what Edd’ would do to him if all the Dwarfs weren’t roasting on a spit by the time, he woke up… if he was still alive that was.

Turn 6

Limping into the street Sticka began summoning the power of the gods to hurl the dwarfs at each other again. Edd’ had found that one funny before Sticka thought. Sadly, it seemed as though he thought about this a little too hard as instead of the familiar great big hand propelling the stocky dwarfs through their own ranks, a small puff of green smoke formed a grinning face at him. He couldn’t have annoyed the Gods with his lie, could he?

As Stronginthearm and Skeggi charged head long into the Shaman – they later remarked about the quizzical look on its face and the small green leering face that had appeared in smoke from the creature’s hand.

Covering this charging frontline, the dwarf thunderer had seen the Goblin Archer luring on the second floor and steadied a bolt for the next time the creature head peered over the masonry, and the patience paid true as the create shot wildly missing the thunderers bolt cleaved a large wound in the goblins head. The thunderer studiously loaded another bolt hearing the heavy clattering of a body on floorboards.

The rest of the dwarf band charged forth from the building into the now congested street – they knew they had shaken the resolve of the Orcs, and it wouldn’t take much more to see them off.

Turn 7

He’s used to be one of da Big Gitz when he’d followed the Goblin Shaman the heavily wounded Goblin thought to himself, here he was - he could hear Foulbreath downstairs screaming abuse and he was up here bleeding out. That was it – he’d show everyone he was still a Big Git. The Goblin archer, clawing his way to the ledge of the ruined building had failed his animosity – we ruled, despite being knocked down, he’d commit a diving charge by throwing himself from the building. Mainly because it was very, very funny. Downstairs, less funny for the Orcs was Foulbreath, the ever animosity prone Goblin charged and knocked down one of the archers taking aim through a window. The combat in the street despite a projectile Goblin turned into a dwarf made bloodbath – first Stronginthearm craved a still magic impotent Sticka in two rolling a critical wound. Then Hammer wielding bearding also rolled a critical wound caving the head of Original Doom Diver Goblin in.

The Goblin had not been the only useless projectile the Orcs and Goblins had unleashed in turn 7 with the remaining Goblin Archer able to pointlessly shoot at the Slayer, and Wozzer spying a shot on the Noble but also utterly wasting his two quick shots.

The Dwarfs keen for more slaughter barrelled into the building where the Goblins had been busily failing animosity rolls – despite my overarching

desire to try and kill something – Gork (or woz it Mork) decided that Edd’ mob would run away and live to eat the Dwarfs another day.

Post-Game

Edd’ came to, and he saw he wouldn’t have to kill Sticka himself, one of the Dwarfs had cut him in two. That said, picking up the wounded squig, and beating the last life out of that still twitching Goblin would make him feel a whole lot better after the day’s events.

Da Boyz Woz Ate Clever Git suffered pretty gruelling losses with Sticka the Shaman dying in the post-game alongside a squig and the diving Goblin Archer. The only advancements were for Foulbreath who gained a +1 to his strength. Wozzer went off into the ruins to search for Wyrdstone in the hopes of not enraging Edd’ anymore, however only found one Shard for his troubles.

The Dwarfs Treasure Hunters on the other hand found a grand tally of three Wyrdstone, and the hammer wielding Beardling found themselves the recipient of +1 initiative. Skeggi and Stronginthearm, despite being henchmen continued to add to their legends – now both having wounded the Boss Eddsplitter Grotboy